No Complaining

The Assignment: Have a day of no complaining, and then write about it. Here was my submission.


Disposition is an interesting thing, especially when you realize that you have control over it. We go through these emotional roller coasters and times when the entire world feels so hopeless. But taking a day not to complain is an excellent way to realize that it’s what we feed ourselves mentally that really alters our outlook. Not complaining for a day came at a funny time for me. For the last few weeks, I’ve been on the search for happiness. I started a month ago, after a really good friend admitted that he hated how sad I’d been lately. Always the cynical one, I hadn’t realized that my mood was affecting him as much as it was me.
So my happiness quest, so to speak, was born. I found myself counting my blessings instead of ticking off the things going wrong. I started reading stories about others in unfortunate situations and how they cope- not because I was looking for someone to pity, but because the human experience is about not being alone. There were people who were in much worse situations, doing much better than I was. And the common denominator that kept them all happy was that they wanted to be happy.
I wanted to be happy too. The weather started to get better, and so did my mood. I changed what I was listening to on my IPod- the beats got better and so did the words. I started to find joy in things I had once loved and had been ignoring, like reading the bible or playing video games. These things seemed trivial, but to me, they were mood stabilizing. They gave me something to look forward to.
And then I started to change my interactions. I stopped letting my shyness get in the way and started making friends. I invited the cute guy from work to my birthday party, and made a good friend because of it. Things were getting better, because I was letting them get better.
Enter this assignment- one day without complaining. I loved the idea the moment I heard it. I was already seeing what a change my frame of mind was making, and it seemed more than plausible to imagine that not complaining could have good results as well. So I took the challenge, posted it to a few other friends, and looked forward to Saturday, the time I’d chosen.
Saturday morning rolled around, sunny and gorgeous. Despite the late night I’d had before, I felt pretty good when I rolled into the classroom to teach. The kids were in good spirits too, and so getting them away from topics they normally complain about was a cakewalk. Spring was finally coming, and everyone was excited about it.
But then I thought about other people who might be complaining. I thought about my grandmother, who was in a lot of pain because of an inflammation she was suffering from. What would help her not to complain?
The sure-fire answer was a visit, and so off my older sister and I went. We put the top down, blasted cruising music, and headed off to Tom’s River. The sky was bright and despite the cold, it felt good to be out and about.
We got to my grandmothers just in time to get her to her favorite Saturday event, Bingo. When we go visit, we go with her to play the game. The firehouse floor quickly fills with people waiting for their big break. It is a fascinating experience to be part of.
But that night, the bingo caller was bad, and the regular players felt cheated. Since I could not request they all stop complaining, I tuned myself out and onto my board, ignoring their comments. My older sister, however, listened intently, and her mood grew worse as the night poured on. When we talked about it later, she described the other players as vicious and bitter. I tried to explain that they felt cheated- this man did not respect their game (he ate during it, mocked numbers when they were called, and took his time). The reasoning did not help- her bingo night had been ruined, despite the fact that she won fifty dollars.
But for me, the night felt good. I spent dinner afterwards entertaining my grandmother with stories of my job and the things going on in my life. We were having so much fun, that our waiter kept stopping by to hear our tales. He was a nice guy, and I may have even flirted with him a little. I was feeling really good.
The car ride back left me reflecting on all the things going right in my life. I didn’t have much to complain about. Sure, the next day was bound to be exhausting, but I felt right about how I’d spent my time.
I look forward to comparing with my friends. Many of them are happy people to begin with, so I think we’ll be in good shape to chat. But I can see how what you dwell on changes how you feel. The sunshine of my Saturday cannot be entirely attributed to the weather.