Romeo, Romeo, Where Art Thou Romeo?

I am much more of a Juliet than a Cinderella. Let’s face it, when you’re an independent girl making your own means and providing your own life, you want the kind of guy whose going to love you for being amazing, not the kind of guy whose going to love you because you look pretty at the ball. Though Romeo’s love for Juliet was about the forbidden fruit of the situation, it still manages to trump the desire for the girl who fits a certain slipper, or in modern terms, a certain role. I want to be the kind of girl who sneaks into the party, who listens from the balcony, who daydreams. And I want the kind of thieving conniving troublemaker who is going to read me poetry even when I tell him to go away.
Romeo would be the kind of guy who would know better than to send me flowers, because flowers are a trivial show. He would know that I have no interest in seeing the world on vacation (I’d much rather save it, thank you), that I’m uncomfortable in fancy restaurants, that cruise ships are no fun unless your working as a maid or the entertainer at meals. He would know these things, because he would feel the same way.
Romeo would understand know that the best way to apologize after a huge fight would be to show up at my door and hug me, just to say he was sorry. He would know that a phone call at night means more than chocolates and that cards are a sorry form of expression. He would know what to say when I was down, and when he didn’t, he would know better than to trivialize my feelings or blabber on.
Romeo would be the quiet but strong type, holding his words back until he had something good to say, but he would have many good things to say anyway, so we would still have good conversation. He would know that my fantasies in life include nights under the stars, or mornings spent with my guitar and the sunrise. He would let me be myself, even when the rest of the world laughed at me. And he could even laugh too, as long as he didn’t try to stifle me.
My obligation as Juliet would be to think about the situation, to offer solutions to his problems. It would be my job to provide comfort for him when he was down, to jump with him when he was ready to fly, to support his desires as much he supports mine. And from there, we could create our own life, away from the expectations of the world. Because Romeo would understand that I hate being tied down to a set of standards, that I want to be on my own path, and that I sing my own song no matter what the world says.
Prince Charming, I know that you are out there, and I’m sure you are going to make some girl very happy one day. But be honest- you’re looking for a good girl to cook you dinner and rub your feet. Your looking for someone to accompany you to the symphony, the ball, or the royal court; you want arm candy. You’re expecting someone who can be pampered, who is ready for luxury, and who will compliment you just because you are a prince. You don’t break the rules, you don’t go out of your way to make the effort, and you don’t need anyone. You’re just not my type.
But Romeo, oh Romeo, wherever the heck you are, I’m waiting for you. Because I want the kind of romance that holds on because of the shared memories and strong partnership. And I promise I’ll be smarter than Juliet, and I won’t jump the gun. Even when it seems like you’ll never come to life, I’ll wait for you.

The Teacher

He taught me that if you put the sugar and cream into the cup first, that you don’t have to stir the coffee. I watched him do so a hundred times. Cream, sugar, and then coffee. No stirring. Taste: Perfect.
He was there when my grandmother died, watching over us children while my father and mother ran to the hospital to be with my grandfather. He was there when we woke that morning,shielding us from the coming days of misery. He was there so many other times as well; healing skinned knees, making jokes that would have been inappropriate if anyone else told them. He was there with instructions; his favorite psalm was about an excellent wife, and he read it over and over. His memory floats all over my childhood- a secondary father of sorts.
He left his own family last week- the last of the children old enough to understand that their parents could not make it work anymore. He tried so hard to wait for them to grow up, but it didn’t come together. With overwhelming sadness, I can only imagine, he walked away for a final time. He is a good father- of that I have no doubt. But he does not love his wife anymore.
This year alone I have watched relationship after relationship after relationship fall to pieces. I have watched good people do things that they greatly regret. I have watched some people surface into their true colors. But mostly, I’ve just watched a lot of hearts break, as people realize that they jumped into situations that they shouldn’t have been part of far too early.
I have been part of the romance world. I jumped in, I swam around, and I went under. And all too soon, it was over. And while I am still dealing with the repercussions of a love lost, and of a friend who knew too many secrets, I have the assurance that I have not made any drastic mistakes. I did the right thing. And I can move on with that knowledge.
There isn’t always a villain in relationships. Mostly there are just two people, realizing that they aren’t as compatible as they thought. They find one another, they keep each other warm for a time, and then they go their separate ways. I think the key is that promising someone forever has to be a partnership, not just a romance. But I suppose that is a thought for a different time.
He taught me how to make the perfect cup of coffee. He taught me a lot of things. And in a way, he taught me some serious lessons about what to do, and what not to do in a marriage.
But I mourn for the loss of the life he once knew, and for the tarnished future he will wake to from now on. And I can’t help but thinking about how disastrous it is to jump too suddenly, and how grateful I am to have the chance to know what could have been before I had to suffer through it.